Hi. (Clears throat) My name is Jessica, and I am (clears throat) addicted to all things blogging. I’m here because my husband thinks I need help. Well, he didn’t come out and say this, but it was implicated in a comment that he made upon leaving for work today. No, come to think of it. It wasn’t a comment, more like a question.
He asked, “Do you think you’re putting too much time into this whole blogging thing.” Umm, in response to this, I kind of stared at him.
It was five in the morning, my eyes were dark with circles. My breath wasn’t the freshest, and I, wore a pair of mismatching pajamas.
Yes, I know, I looked crazy! I felt crazy too, but that didn’t stop me from waking up from a poor night’s sleep to read some blogs, see what others were doing/saying via twitter, and attempt to finish writing a blog post that I tried, as evident by the spills on my keyboard, to finish yesterday while eating dinner (I’m not the best multitasker).
I woke up at five a.m because I felt anxious, anxious that I would not meet my goal of posting every day, responding to every comment, participating in all relevant groups and forums, etc., etc.
It’s insane, and the more I pondered how I got here with blogging, the more I realized that something has got to give.
When I started this blog, I imagined that I would leisurely write about the going-ons in my life. As reflected in my early posts, I just kind of wrote whatever was on my mind, added or didn’t add pictures when I didn’t feel the need to write, and sometimes commented on other blogs that I happened to come across.
Gone are those days. Somehow, someway, I have become sucked into the mommy blogging machine, where I feel bad (like really bad, can’t stop thinking about it bad) about not posting, responding to a comment, or checking up on Twitter.
Since entering into this sphere, this addictive mommy blogosphere, I have become, yeah, I’ll admit, a bit neurotic about blogging. I don’t necessarily have any financial aspirations for my blog, so it is not the prospective of money that drives me, but, and this was especially the case before I began working outside of the home, it is the whole “I, as a mom, have something to offer the world, too!” attitude that seems to drive me to spend excessive amounts of time within the blogosphere.
Realizing my problem (and, it is a problem), I have come to the conclusion, as I said before, that something has got to give.
I enjoy writing, connecting with other moms, making sense of odd tidbits and compelling information that I encounter in my daily life, and sharing Nya’s childhood with the world, but I don’t like the stress of (or, better yet, to stress myself out over) competitive mommy blogging. As my husband is always quick to remind me, “This is not your job!” And, he’s right. I already have one (or two- if I include being a mom) jobs. I don’t need three! “This is a hobby!” I must remind myself.
As I admit this aloud, I feel a bit embarrassed, given that there seems to be so many moms who can, or at least seem, to do it all. But, how? I often ask myself. How do women do it all? How do they write posts everyday, keep their husband interested enough to stick around, breast or bottle feed their babies, prepare meals, work-out, shower, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and manage to smile in all of the loving pictures that they so proudly display on their blogs, or in the pictures of them playing, loving, enjoying the time that they spend with their children. How?
I raised the question of how to balance blogging with family life over the weekend on Twitter and received mostly the same responses. “Let me know when you figure it out.” Now, if the women who responded to me on Twitter are in any way indicative of what other blogging moms are feeling, then I wonder why does the image of the do-it-all blogging mommy still exist? Is it (or she) a figment of our imagination, a dream that we perpetuate and hold no to so as to convince the world of our worthiness as moms and super-human abilities?
Huh? I really want to know!!
So, in reflecting on why I started blogging in the first place, I decided on yesterday to calm down a bit. Yes, I will aim to post everyday. I love to write and share things with others, so posting is not the problem. The problem, which I plan to work on, is feeling bad about not posting, or not being as fast as I could be in responding to comments, or updating my Twitter status. Yes, I will continue to do these things, but I need to work on not feeling compelled to do so or else… Like really, or else what? Someone will die? I mean, I hope no one would die, but I hope you get my point.
Blogging is serious, but it should not be stressful. If you or someone you know is experiencing blogging addiction, call 1-888-just-kidding. No, really, if this is you or someone you know, just relax, reflect, and reacquaint yourself with this thing called blogging. You.will.be.okay.
Again, I will reiterate for those who upon reading this may begin thinking that I am leaving this “blogging game,” I love my blog and blogging, and I can’t stop, won’t stop. I, nonetheless need to figure out how to better integrate blogging into my life and take a less obsessive, got.to.get.this.done attitude towards the whole thing. Wish me luck!