As most moms and dads know, or will come to learn, nap times are a precious commodity, a commodity often lost due to poor decisions made by moms and dads all over the world. Some of my “poor” decisions made during nap times have been:
1. Attempting to do laundry.
The dryer buzzer, indicating that there are three minutes left, always goes off thirty minutes into Nya’s nap and wakes her up, every time.
2. Watching raunchy talk shows and lifetime movies.
While entertaining, they are such a waste of time.
3. Opening twitter.
I hardly ever update my status, but I do, often (very often) get sucked into reading the updates of others for hours on end.
4. Attempting to write a blog post.
“Okay, I have an hour, this should be easy, right?” (An hour later… and after being sucked into reading others’ blogs) “Maybe I’ll just post a picture. Is it Wednesday, yet?”
5. “Snacking” on Hostess Twinkies and Ho-hos.
“Okay, so I can only eat one.” (Three Twinkies and/or ho hos later) “My, my, my, I was hungrier than I thought.”
6. Participating in a conference call that I knew would last more than two hours.
(After the second hour, I hear Nya waking up.)
Co-worker: “So, Jessica, what is it that you’re working on for the week?”
Me: “Uh, (nervous and pacing back and forth past the room door where she was sleeping) not much.”
7. Beginning a workout video that calls for alot of jumping, claps, or running in place.
I live in an apartment, on the fourth floor, so every vibration is magnified by like 30. I am convinced that Nya can feel those vibrations in her bassinet, as she wakes up every time.
8. Reading more than forty blogs.
I love reading others’ blogs, but unless I am restricted by known time restraints, I can spend so much time in, what I like to call, the blogosphere vortex.
9. Calling AT&T about some unexplained charges on my account.
Me: “Yeah, uh there is a $30 extra charge on my bill. What is that referring to?”
Customer service rep: Oh, let me transfer you to your local billing department.”
(Muzak, then I am connected)
Me: Hi, I was transferred to you. My bill is showing a $30 extra charge. I was wondering what it is referring to.
Customer service rep: “Oh, let me transfer you to our billings department.”
…and, so the circus continues.
10. Trying to explain to my partially deaf, ninety year old grandma why I have not come to visit in a month.
Grandma: “You what?”
Me: (Said at normal volume)”I’ve just been busy, grandma.”
Grandma: “You what?”
Me: (Said at slightly louder volume, with each syllable enunciated very, very clear) “I said, I’ve just been busy with work and everything.”
Me: (I am now screaming into the phone receiver) “JUST been busy grandma. That’s ALL.”
Grandma: “You what now?”
Me: (Now I sound like the incredible hulk) “BEEN BUSY, GRANDMA. THAT’S ALL”
Grandma: “Oh, okay.”
(Sigh) By the time she gets to this point, Nya has already awoken, along with every one else in my apartment complex.
What are some things that you all do during your childrens’ nap times that are, well, less than productive?