Some darkened circles beneath my eyes and the regrowth of the first gray hair I discovered and promptly yanked from my head some weeks ago brought me to the grocery store on Sunday night at 9:56 pm.
I was looking for a quick fix, a magic beauty elixir by way of the ever so popular beauty magazines that graced the stands in my checkout aisle.
Cosmopolitan looked appealing, with its offered help to “Get Sexy Hair Everyday,” quiz asking “Are You Too Good For Him?” and complicated looking sex act illustrations, so I picked it up.
“The sex talk and relationship advice,” I told myself, “may come in handy one day (perhaps). Today, however, I need to become a glorious beauty vixen by the morning.”
So, and to this end, I turned to page 96. There was something there, an interview with a celebrity mom whom I admired. In the interview, she went on about how regular (very regular) readers like me could “get her fresh look.”
I’m generally a skeptic, but given the person who was giving the advice, my envy of her look in the “photoshopped” photograph on the cover and her ability to make motherhood look so easy, I thought I’d give it all a shot and become a “believer,” again.
The interview itself was two pages long.
I finished it in 10 minutes.
In reading the last word, and feeling as though I had “eaten my meal too quickly,” and as, as result, still hungered for more, I returned to title, then to the photographs, then to the tips.
There was not enough there, at least not for me.
I needed more help than could be “whipped up” in two pages.
She said she exercises every morning before her children awaken, eats small portioned, well-balanced meals, meals like lentil soup and, gets eight hours of sleep, moisturizes, exfoliates, wears a good foundation and concealer, oh, and detoxes weekly.
While all very good information, it was information that I already knew. It, or that information, had long been sitting on my brain in the to-one-day-do section. I had likely read it in some other interview in some other magazine with some other celebrity mom.
As I sat alone with the magazine and the beautiful pictures (“photoshopped” pictures, I adamantly reminded myself often to avoid feeling worse) of my favorite celebrity mom, I began to think about myself.
I make an effort to eat balanced meals, not lentil shop, but other foods, sleep eight hours a day, moisturize, exfoliate, and detox, but, sometimes, I can’t seem to find the time or motivation (mostly).
When I read her easy “fresh look” plan, I felt like saying aloud, “Well, good for her,” in a sing-songy voice.
I didn’t though.
It was late, and I was tired.
I wanted a quick fix, though I knew no such fix existed. “If only,” I thought to myself,”such quick fixes did exist.”
Well, maybe they do. After all, while I am currently finding it a challenge to “keep up with myself,” it seems comparatively easier to go in the other direction, or to “let myself go.”
Yes, it seems letting yourself go is easy (or easier).
If I am the model mom of “letting yourself go,” I say that it can done by getting less than five hours of sleep, buying dual purpose pajamas that can pass as “regular” clothes during the day, and eating junk, often.
I have done all of these things a lot more in the past few weeks.
While easy, I don’t like the feeling that comes along with letting yourself go. It sounds wrong, it goes against all of my pre-mom sentiments. It also feels unhealthy, unbalanced, and, in looking at my under eye circles again, pathetic.
Moms: How do you “keep up with yourself” when life sends you lemons? I need some help. Any tips, suggestions, or product recommendations would be greatly, greatly appreciated.