I’ve read that we are drawn to those whose stories are most like our own. Misery loves commiseration. And, this is true.
It would likely explain why many of the blogs I follow are those of bloggers who I feel get me, are like me, feel my pain.
I also, however, have learned only recently that I am also drawn to blogs that sell a, well, more lighthearted, easy-breezy rendition of motherhood. You know the blogs that always can see the bright side of such motherhood “hardships” like hourly night waking, teething, and the like. I know that no mother is perfect, but I, for some reason, like to see images of perfection in some of the blogs I follow.
When I got into blogging, it was that image of perfection and ease that I wanted (keyword: wanted) most to create in my self-described “mommy blog.”
I wanted to showcase my child in hundreds of flattering pictures taken in heavenly, yet natural looking lights.
I wanted to showcase myself and only of the beautiful parts of our family life.
I wanted to avoid words like hate, sad, unhappy, pain, and heartache.
Instead, I wanted to use cute words that conveyed my motherhood “cute-ness,”words like, “goodness gracious” or “lovie dovie.”
But, I couldn’t.
I have realized in finding one of my daughter’s newborn pictures from this blog through a google search that I am much too paranoid, honest, and confused to be that blogger.
In my real life, I’m that girl who doesn’t shy from unflattering conversations, conversations on things like marriage, motherhood, and feeling insecure about what I have on that day.
Every day of my motherhood is a blessing but in the moment when I write some of my posts, things can be challenging, rough, and confusing.
I don’t have all the answers, but I would like to pretend I do sometimes.
I would like to say that I have it “all” figured out, that my philosophy on motherhood and parenting is static.
But, you know what? I don’t have it all figured out.
And, each day, I am learning more and this, in turn, changes my thoughts on motherhood and parenting.
I’m not consistent, ever. (This is a detail I often worry about in this blogging medium).
Every day, unfortunately, is not my best day.
Everyday I’m not baking cookies and saying “honey” in response to my husband’s calls asking, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
Everyday is also not my worst day either, however.
Some days I am in total awe with my life as it is today and am grateful while standing in line at my grocery store for food that I am blessed to be able to afford.
And, sometimes I like to complain (a lot).
While I can acknowledge this much about myself, my middle of the road approach to life and, thus, blogging, I still say that I enjoy to often consume and bathe in the fantasy of perfect, easy breezy motherhood, its whismical-ness, and wonder.
Yes, I know all images of perfection are false. But, I want to be a believer, I guess, in the “dream.”
“No mother is perfect,” I often say to not feel bad about mistakes in my parenting, but I don’t always really believe this.
If I really did, after all, I’d not interpret any motherhood behavior by any mother as perfect. But, I do, sadly. (sigh)
I still, I must say here, believe in perfection and will, on occasion, beat myself up while in the midst of my daily imperfections for not measuring up.
“But motherhood is not perfect,” I’ve said this too in my mind. It’s insane.
Readers: What type of blogs are you drawn to? What do you think those blogs say about you as a person? Oh, and am I the only paranoid mother out there worrying that my daughter’s images are google-able?