As a parent, I think it’s important to have parent friends. It’s important to be able to talk to people who get a) why you’re usually late for everything, b) why you don’t always return calls on time, c) why you can’t do hot yoga in the city on 30 minute’s notice, and c) why you are usually tired.
Before having kids, I didn’t have any parent friends. So, when I entered parenthood, I entered it blindly. I entered it kind of like an experiment of something I saw on TV and had heard about but didn’t see firsthand.
As the first in my circle of friends and family to try this parenting thing, I kind of felt a kind of pressure that’s hard to explain now. I kind of felt like everyone was looking at me as an example of parenthood, or the possibilities for life after parenthood.
And as a new mom, I think I was a kind of scary example with bad clothes, hair and undereye circles. It was tough as an example. I didn’t want to complain too much about parenting related things because I worried that would scare my childless friends off.
Childless friend #1: “Oh, you look tired.”
Me: “Yeah, I am.”
Childless friend #2: “Ohhhhhhhh.” (pause)
Childless friend #1: “Well at least your body looks great.”
On the other hand, I couldn’t ethically make it seem like everything was easy for me. So, it was a catch 22.
But then I met some online parenting friends and then some real life parenting friends and my life changed for the better. I was able to complain about stuff in one breath and talk about how much I love my kids in the next. All of this, the seemingly differing emotions and sentiments made sense.
And that’s parenthood. It’s incredibly beautiful and incredibly tough. It’s both of these things. It’s hard but it’s very sweet. I miss some parts of my childless life, but I love this life even more. When you don’t have kids, you can’t really get that. You can’t really get how something so emotionally and physically draining can be so wonderful. You can’t get how much you can love another human being. You can’t, until it happens to you.
That’s one reason why I keep up this blog and, sometimes, drag, myself to playdates. I do these things to talk about this with people who get the parenting side of me. There are other sides of me, yes, sides that come out in my posts and conversations, but this side is a big part of me at this point in my life.
I sometimes wonder when this will change or whether it’s already changed.
I wonder when, and if, I’ll ever stop blogging.
I wonder what the future holds for my family, for me, and whether this blog will still fit when there are no more diapers to change or children to snuggle in the morning. I wonder if putting “mommyhood” in my blog title was shortsighted. I wonder.
But for now, I’m just enjoying this ride.
I’m enjoying growing as a mom, woman, and human being and just hope my blog can capture all that growth.
So long as I feel inspired by things like pink bows and a toddler who “breastfeeds” her baby, I will continue here and in this capacity.
Have you started something and in the midst of doing, and enjoying, it wondered when it would come to an end? Parenting bloggers, how do you foresee your futures as bloggers once your children or you grow?