I like predictability. I like cold weather in the winter and warm weather in the Spring. I like to-do lists and routines and schedules and plans. I follow habits to the death because they are, or following them, is kind of comforting.
I’ve always been this way. Or, at least, ever since I was a kid. Yeah, I think it was sixth grade when I started writing down my day’s plans to do homework, eat dinner, read, write, clean room, in a red daily planner that my mom bought me from Walmart.
Throughout my life, my desire for routine and order has helped me in a lot of ways. It’s what made getting good grades in college very easy, for instance. It made being a teenager who didn’t have much of a life outside of my schoolwork feel less isolating, boring, “square.”
Yeah, my propensity for these things helped me until I became a mom. With Nya, I had to change. As much as I, in the beginning, wanted her to work on my schedule for feeding, pooping, and sleeping, she didn’t. So, I changed. And my whole approach to habits, schedules, and routines, as a result of her and motherhood changed, kind of.
When I started blogging in 2010, I posted every single weekday. Every.single.weekday. I didn’t prepare my posts the night before, I wrote them early in the morning, published them, and stressed out until I got my first comment.
It was insane. And while only blogging for hobby, I posted daily because it became a habit of mine. The first time I didn’t publish a post on a weekday was “bad” day for me. It was so bad that I wrote an excuse post about it, in which I hypothetically blamed my fish for not being able to post something.
After that post, I started posting less, on different days and at different times, depending on my mood. But then when, someone in describing my blog, said they loved everything I wrote but that I didn’t “post that often,” I felt guilty and got back into the habit of posting every other day, or at least three times a week. I liked this schedule, this habit of mine. But, recently, it’s come to feel restricting. I hate feeling like I need to write something every other day or three days a week just because I do that all of the time. I hate feeling guilty about this feeling like a job, sometimes. Because this isn’t my job. It’s fun. It’s creative. It’s for me.
So, going forward, I plan to make some changes about my posting schedule. Not that any of you will likely care, but for myself, so that I can have this in writing, I will say that I will be unpredictable. I will, sometimes, post every day of the week. Some days, I won’t post but two days a week. I will keep posting, because this is what I love. But, in terms of the days and times I post, well, that will be a toss up. So, that’s incentive that you keep coming back, right?
I know this sounds so dramatic, but really I wanted to say this because this blog matters to me. You all matter to me. I want to write my best here and what I truly feel inspired to write about because I value this space and you all.
Thank you for understanding. We can still be friends, right???
Are you a creature of habit, too? Do you have a blogging routine/schedule? If so, what’s your schedule?