Hello, 30. Love, Jessica.

Throughout much of my twenties, I had nightmares about 30. This is given my history with birthdays and the anticipation of big things happening in my life that never seemed to ever really happen when I felt they should.

But, leading into 30, I changed.

You know what’s interesting about growing up when you’re an adult? It’s interesting that when you become an adult, or begin calling yourself an adult at say 21, you assume that you are all grown up, that you have the world mostly figured out and in your control, and that you know EVERYTHING.Of course.

You assume, or at least I assumed, that I had no more growing to do when I celebrated my 21st birthday by renewing my license at the MVA.

I had no idea what it really meant to grow at 21. Growth isn’t immediate.  It’s usually slow, happening at a seemingly fragmented pace.  It happens until you die.

I think I get this better now that I have the mirror of my children’s growth to see my growth through. Just like them, the steps that I’ve taken to get me where I am today have been slow and small and, often, done without a clear vision of where I was going.


When my girls started to walk and talk or when my almost three year old became potty trained, it wasn’t overnight and the steps they took to get there didn’t always seem connected to one another.

When you see in someone else, someone smaller, that growth and big things happen when small steps and stumbles are made and committed to on a daily basis….When you can see that these steps are taken, often, unknowingly and in faith that they do mean something that can’t be understood in the moment, then you can understand growth!

In order for growth to happen, mistakes must be made and uncertainty must be accepted as a necessary partner to what will eventually be!

I’ve grown so much through my twenties and I’m still growing at 30. So, when I woke up on my birthday yesterday, I didn’t feel the normal birthday sentiments that I used to feel, or the feelings of longing, regret, or sadness.

I felt happy, thankful to be alive and still growing.

So, hello, 30! I look forward to getting to know you better.


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19 Responses to “Hello, 30. Love, Jessica.”

  1. KalleyC says:

    Happy 30th Birthday Jessica! I turned 30 last year, and I’ll be 31 very soon (eep!) Seriously though, I don’t know what it is with 30 but you start to feel comfortable with a lot of things. Yourself, your capabilities, and most things around you. I guess it’s that turning point when you realize that you actually know what you’re doing, and you are officially grown up.
    KalleyC recently posted…Sunday Prayer: ServeMy Profile

  2. Alison says:

    Hope you had a great birthday!
    My 30’s so far has proved to be the best decade so far, and I can say that with a certainty because I’ll be 37 this year 😉 (wow, writing that down seems… old)
    Alison recently posted…Catching The SunlightMy Profile

    • I did have a happy birthday! And thank you for your very early birthday wishes on Monday. I had no idea that I put my birthday on Facebook! lol. I’m happy to hear that you’ve been enjoying your 30s. I look forward to this decade!!

  3. Kita says:

    Happy birthday to you I hope you had a blessed one. When I turned 30 I was scared because I knew that I could not get away with certain things like I could in my 20 I now have to be an adult and act the part. So far it’s okay but I still want to go back to my early 20’s
    Kita recently posted…Talk TuesdayMy Profile

  4. Lucy says:

    “So, when I woke up on my birthday yesterday, I didn’t feel the normal birthday sentiments that I used to feel, or the feelings of longing, regret, or sadness.” <<< This is huge progress! and 30 is a beautiful age. Happy birthday, dear Jessica!
    Lucy recently posted…Three years old.My Profile

  5. TOI says:

    happy birthday Jessica.

    I didn’t like being in my eraly twenties very much because apart from getting married I always felt awkward. I wanted to be in my 30s and I love it the minute I could tell everyone that I am in my 30s, I felt it was a great achievement.

    you will enjoy this new age :)
    TOI recently posted…Week 3My Profile

  6. Rachel J. says:

    Happy Birthday, Jessica! I’ll be right there with you in a few months. 😀

  7. Happy Birthday!!! You’re so right about growth. It’s so necessary. When I turned 30, I felt more in control of my life for some reason. I started making big decisions around that time. You’ll love your 30’s. So many life lessons that will only make you better! :)
    Cam | Bibs & Baubles recently posted…My Blog Has Been SabotagedMy Profile

  8. Vanita says:

    Happy Birthday Sweeti!
    You are an awesome woman and 30 is great! I am four years away from 40 and i’m looking forward to it.
    the preschoolers will be settled in school, the teens will be off to college and i will know more about parenting and life then i do now.
    great big hugs to you sweeti!
    Vanita recently posted…Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)My Profile

  9. Three says:

    […] her birthday yesterday, but she thought her birthday already happened four days ago. It was my birthday then. I tried explaining this as we blew out the candles on my cake, but she didn’t want to get […]

  10. Happy Belated Birthday, girl! Hope you had a wonderful wonderful one.
    Your words are so beautifully true about growing. :)
    I feel happier now than I was in my 20s and that’s from growth.
    Maureen | Scoops of Joy recently posted…Not A New Year&#8217;s ResolutionMy Profile

  11. Cecilia says:

    Happy birthday once again, Jessica!! You sound so content, mature and wise, and you’ve already done so much for a 20-something!! So I’m confident you’re going to have a fantastic decade ahead. Just hearing you say that you’re looking forward to more growing tells me you’ve got your priorities straight…I think so many of us approach our 30s in terms of a list of things (achievements) to check off…so I love that you’re talking about growing rather than achieving. By growing, all the achievements will fall into place. Many happy wishes to you, dear friend!
    Cecilia recently posted…50 books for 2013My Profile

  12. […] so she’s witnessed the evolution of me in the space and asked in her email if I thought turning 30 this year had anything to do with why I am where I am today as reflected in the post. And to this, I thought […]

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