I’ll look back on this…

because I decided to live it

Sometimes, I do think about the legacy of the things I do online. Sometimes, I do think about old posts that I’ve written and second guess myself about posts to be written. But I’m learning that in order to enjoy this fully, I must just do it fully.

I was reminded of this through several emails in the past month from readers of this blog, readers who just stumbled in from some old post that had a keyword that they were searching for.

These readers will read my post and sometimes they leave a comment, but other times they’ll send an email. Sometimes it’s an email asking for advice or help or just support. Other times it’s just to say “hi, I exist and agree with what you said a year ago.”

I live for these kinds of emails because they remind me of the good of this, or this blog and opening yourself up online. I do look back on some posts I’ve written for this blog, and I do, at times, cringe at my ignorance, my naivete, my arrogance.

I would like to think that who I am today is who I always was, that I was always confident and aware that police officers don’t have to make exceptions for parents, but that’s not true. Or, it wasn’t true for me always.

I can’t say that I always know why I blog, but when I get emails on old posts, then I get it. I do this because it feels right, usually. And even if in sharing the things that feel right, I reveal myself to be crazy or silly or naive or immature, I am, at least, being honest about my life as I lived it at any given moment. So, for that, or that I have this place to remember where I have “lived” and to share where I am “living”….for that I am thankful.

Do you know why you blog? What are your reasons? Have they changed since you started blogging?

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16 Responses to “I’ll look back on this…”

  1. TOI says:

    Well written lady.

    Not always I know why I write but slowly I am getting there and when I started I wanted to hide so much but since the first post in Dec 2009, I’ve evolved and my writing and personality on the blog-sphere is getting bolder. I want to share good things, my life experiences that maybe it will help at least one person along the way.

    I want to be inspired and inspire others
    TOI recently posted…It Doesn’t MatterMy Profile

  2. Alison says:

    Well, I blog for many reasons. Chief among them is leaving something of me for my kids. The other is a little more selfish – I just love it.
    Alison recently posted…Yes, I’m Mom Blogging And Proud Of ItMy Profile

    • lol. I can understand that! Leaving something for my children is big for me, too. I used to think of this blog as a baby book, but since it’s so personal to me and this moment in my life as a woman, I kind of changed that. If anything, this blog is like a place for my children to come to receive the back story behind the woman they came to know simply as “mom.”

  3. Kita says:

    I have on my blog today why I started blogging so this post came right on time. My reasons have not changed and they never will. I don’t want a blog that sells things or does a bunch of reviews I want to stick to the basics.

  4. Mirjam says:

    I blog for me, for my spirit,
    but every time I receive an email or make a connection, I realize that I blog for so much more.
    Mirjam recently posted…Sunday gatheringsMy Profile

  5. Cecilia says:

    I don’t remember you as ever being silly or arrogant but I do understand what you mean about looking back on old posts and sometimes cringing….I feel that way too and have been thinking about it recently, as I’ll notice from blog stats that some readers will click on posts I’ve set up in a “my personal favorites” menu. It’s posts I’ve written that I like , but I realized how long it’s been since I’ve updated it. There are a lot about being a “mommy,” which made me cringe just slightly, because I feel that I have gradually moved away from that. But then I thought, you know, that was where I was 2, 3 years ago; I was the mother of a preschooler and those were the issues I was grappling with then.

    But occasionally I do go through my old posts and will sometimes unpublish some of them. The thing is, though, sometimes the ones I am most embarrassed about (because they are so personal) are also the ones that others appreciate the most.

    I think the topics and issues I blog about will continue to evolve, but the reason I write will always stay the same, which is to have an outlet for expression and a small audience of supporters. That I will always need.

    Thanks for this honest post, Jessica!
    Cecilia recently posted…Working from homeMy Profile

    • Aww. Thank you, Cecilia. I feel the same way about some of my old posts. And you’re right, it is those posts that are most cringe-worthy that seem to be liked the most by others. I think I get why, or because the cringe-worthy ones are often the most revealing or spoken to a particular moment that others may be going through, too. So, it’s tough. I have deleted some old ones, but others I’ve just left alone. I don’t revisit them because I’m no longer “there,” but I leave them for someone else who may be “there.”

      And that’s why I love blogging, too. I love having an outlet and being able to say something out loud. And whether hundreds or a hand full of people read what I read is okay for me now. I just want to talk sometimes. lol.

  6. Kimberly says:

    I blog because I fight a mental illness everyday. I was so inspired by the strong women who shared their stories with me during there battles and I wanted to do the same. Words can heal and encourage without being said. The written word is powerful.
    That’s why I do it.
    And to talk smack about my husband :)
    Kimberly recently posted…Canada Bleeds HockeyMy Profile

    • I love that and the platform you’ve built for women to talk courageously and honestly about PPD. A woman emailed me some weeks ago about her struggles with PPD. She found me from a post I wrote about my experiences. I gave her some advice and recommended you and her blog to her! So, keep up the great work!

  7. Hello Jessica, I find the timing of my visit here very interesting as I’ve been thinking a lot about your questions. I started blogging in December with a clear plan and goals for establishing more of an authoratative voice as an independent fitness professional amongst other things I have planned + I love writing (go easy on me, I’m an infant with that passion of mine). I read blogs before, but I was missing the connection from the dialogue that occurs after the post. Now, I’m wanting to share more of my personal life as I’m enjoying getting to know these amazing people. I’m really enjoying blogging & I do feel a change coming on. I’m fine with that.

    As for the tail light…that made me laugh, for I too have pulled that, “no officer, I hadn’t a clue that
    Iight was out” when I’d known for eons that I was riding dirty:)

    I’m late, but Welcome to the 30′s club!
    Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady recently posted…So you Want to Teach Les Mills BODYATTACKMy Profile

    • Thanks, Joi! Enjoy this journey! I think the key with it all is to do what feels right. What feels right may not always be what everyone else is doing or what others may think you should do, but in order to keep at this and stay true to yourself, you must do what you feel is right. Thanks for stopping by! It’s nice to “meet” you! :)

  8. vanita says:

    i sit here and smile girlfriend because i think we both grew a bit more as we blogged these soon to be 3 years. the beauty of your blog is, though i’ve never met you, i feel i know you and i sure as heck know we understand each other. it’s sisterhood without borders (or tolls in our case) :-D
    vanita recently posted…Bounce Rate Defined Series: Wrap Your Blog In HoneyMy Profile

    • Yes! And, I feel the same with you! It’s been amazing sharing this journey with women like you! I do (and have) gone back and forth between thoughts of quitting blogging, but in the end, it’s the connections to others that keeps me going!

      p.s. Thank you for sharing this post on Google+. I really appreciate it! :) xo.

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