I don’t know if many of you know, but I have another blog. It’s called “Short Little Bits.” I started it last year. On the blog, I write five minute posts that are unedited and that, once upon a time, were published daily.
When I started writing there, I said I had a plan, but I really didn’t. I think I imagined that writing there would allow the pre-motherhood academic beast in me to unleash with more sophisticated, five minute renderings on questions on more than just how to remember to wear deodorant when going on outings with two children. So, I had high hopes that it would be the place where I could “show off” that I had more in me than just being a mom. “I am a serious writer, too,” I think I kept telling myself when I wrote my “About Me” page.
But that plan flopped when I realized just how hard it is to be pretentious in a five minute, unedited post. I struggled to talk about more than motherhood, too, since motherhood is such a big part of my life at this point. So in the beginning, there were lots of posts expressing that, or that “I’m sorry for wasting five minutes of your time. I thought this would be different, but it’s not. And stop.”
I planned to quit blog after like the third post, but then when I published this post and got some comments from some random guys who likely stumbled in from WordPress, I called my sister and we decided that I should just keep at it. And then days later, I wanted to quit again. I found a rhythm when I stopped overthinking what the blog should be doing and started writing not with any real plan but just topics that were on my mind, like addictions and high heels and cereal eating. It’s all random, but it’s all me and I really like that.
Short Little Bits has maybe a handful of readers. I mean, I don’t know this for sure (I never check my stats) , but I imagine when I write there that likely no one or only a few are listening and even fewer who decide to sign in and comment. And I like that.
I thought I owed a post to Short Little Bits on here because it has proven to be one of the best things I’ve done online. Through writing there, I found some of the voice I lost in my attempt to be big elsewhere and I had fun, again, with writing. I don’t think it will ever get big, but I’ve come to think I don’t even want that.
I don’t want to be conventionally famous, I realized through writing there and in thinking hard about whether becoming an online celebrity whose marriage and home life is of stalkerish interest is really what I want. I don’t. I realize. I . I do want to write well and look nice in any pictures that may happen to be taken of me at some writer’s event that I may happen to attend in L.A. or N.Y. some day in the very distant future. And I want to be heard, but that’s it.