I haven’t meant to be so quiet in this space. I think when I wrote my last post, I had imagined that I would be making some kind of “come back,” the kind that would make coming back on a weekly basis feel normal, routine.
But days, then weeks passed and this space sat idle while I lived, read, blew bubbles, mothered, cried, laughed, smiled. I used to think any hiatus on the part of a blogger could be attributed to a lack of things to say. I do have things to say, but I’m learning that the more quiet I become, the more comfortable I become with the space that silence provides.
In silence, I learn…about myself, about my children, about my writing habits, about friendships, about fears, and insecurities, about…life.
I’ve learned and am learning that my life is changing, that the tidal wave of more children is one that is very powerful and can sweep you off your feet, if you don’t stay rooted on solid ground, focused on breathing and this moment, and believe in yourself and your capabilities.
I’ve learned that my children prefer that I be quiet about their “very” important life “secrets.” “Don’t tell anyone, mama!” says my oldest toddler when I asked if I could talk to my sister about a “private” conversation she and I had about hair.
I’ve learned that I’m a better writer when I read books and that books go well with tea and quiet thoughts.
I’ve learned that being a writer and a mother is challenging but not impossible, and that the best words can come from a mother who understands this.
I’ve learned that when there isn’t a sense of obligation to return here, I miss this space and the exchanges made in this space most.
p.s. If I’m ever not here, you can find my writings on MommyNoire. Also, and in case you’re wondering, I’m still pregnant, now in my third trimester and loving this moment!