Listen To Your Mother DC 2014

The night before, at around 6 pm, I had made up my mind. “I’m not going!” I told my sister in a phone call.

And before she could answer with “why,” I jumped in with, “because I’m not prepared and I don’t want to do anything unprepared and….”

I knew that this was a bad excuse and that it went against all my plans to be more courageous this year, less perfect, but I couldn’t help it.

My piece didn’t feel “ready,” I wasn’t ready.

Yes, I am a writer, but a speaker? No, I’m not that, so to become that I needed to practice more. But I didn’t have time to practice more. So, of course, I just couldn’t go.

I wouldn’t go.

“I’m not going to go since not going would be… the most comfortable thing to do and while taking risks and being courageous is important, it’s also important to be comfortable, right?” Yes, I’ll just put that on my Tumblr and that will be that.

It’s also important to be reasonable and kind to ourselves and accept that we need not do everything that scares us when we don’t have the time to do it. Right? And I really didn’t have the time. Right?

I didn’t know the answer to this but I did know at 10 PM that night that I hated this “comfort” logic.  It was the same logic I’ve been using for years to get out of creating art, publishing my art, be more courageous in my work, in my life.

So that night I went to bed, convinced I wasn’t going to go, but then at 3 AM, after a night waking with my five month old, I decided that I would go. I edited my piece more, practiced more, went to bed, woke in the morning, edited more, practiced more and resigned that I would definitely be going. No matter what.

I chose courage.

So I went.  I read a piece and told my sister, in walking out of the audition room, that “whether I get in the show or not is not the point. The point is that I did it! I’m happy that I did it. And if I get in, well, that would be like icing on the cake. ”

I’m writing this 16 days from that day because two days ago, I got news that I can have the icing, after all. My piece was accepted, so I will be in this year’s DC cast! And I couldn’t be more honored!

you can choose courage

For more updates on my courageous journey, follow me on Tumblr.

What’s something courageous you’ve done this month?

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29 Responses to “Listen To Your Mother DC 2014”

  1. KalleyC says:

    I’m so happy for you! I’m so glad that you decided to go AND you were rewarded for your efforts! Even if you were not accepted, the important thing is you were courageous and stepped out of your comfort zone :)
    KalleyC recently posted…Secrets of New York CityMy Profile

  2. OMG I did the same thing. Not to my sister, as I don’t have a sister, but yeah, to the whole “I AM NOT GOING” thing. Congratulations. Big ones.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…Writing Out Loud and Ghetto DIY Toilet Paper FunMy Profile

  3. Whoot whoot! You took a step forward. That’s progress! So happy for you! :)
    Cam | Bibs and Baubles recently posted…The Weekend needs another day… or FIVEMy Profile

  4. Jeremy says:

    I’m sure you’ve heard enough of “there is no perfect moment to start.” And sometimes, I really prefer to delay certain things till I feel more “ready”.

    What I like to do is that “ready” must be something specific. For example, I could say I’ll practise 1 more week. That’s specific. But once one week is up, you BETTER do it!

    What I don’t do is, tell myself to become “better” first. That’s too vague. That could be in a years’ time.

    In any case, glad you plucked up the courage. You will grow either way, I’m sure. :)
    Jeremy recently posted…4 Mistakes You Are Making When Trying To Connect With Successful PeopleMy Profile

    • Thank you, Jeremy! I agree with your take on this@ I think so long as you set an end-date for preparing, you’ll be okay. The unfortunate thing that I would do with giving myself more time was also giving myself more time to talk myself out of doing things– sending pitches, writing blog posts, auditioning, and the list goes on. I have learned this about myself and am getting better about preparing and doing, so it’s been a good thing. :)

  5. Cher says:

    So exciting, Jessica! I, too, find myself preferring comfort but lately I’ve been stepping out of myself and doing things I wouldn’t normally do. I’m so inspired by you, I think we’re in the same boat!
    Cher recently posted…Build a Concealed Garbage CanMy Profile

  6. Elle says:

    It’s soooo much easier to choose comfort Jessica, but when you’re ready to fly it’s a challenge to stop those wings from taking off. I applaud you for stepping out boldly and in doing so everything fell into place for you. Courage seems to be it’s own reward doesn’t it?
    Elle recently posted…2 Positive Steps to Dissolve Cold Pent Up Feelings And Warm Your HeartMy Profile

  7. LindySez says:

    It does take a lot of courage to be courageous. Glad you talked yourself into it.
    LindySez recently posted…Orecchiette with Spinach and FetaMy Profile

  8. Katrina Hussain says:

    Congratulations!!!!

    “I chose courage.” That statement is so powerful. And how you talk about coming out of your comfort zone and taking more risks and being more courageous resonates so much with me! It’s things like this and what you’re doing that is so inspiring! Thank You!!

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