I have always liked new years because I’ve always liked that they were new. Thinking back to my first resolution ever, at 13, to “lose weight” by eating only peaches (it ended at lunch time), I think I’ve always liked the practice and idea of starting over, for having a reason and a shared time to start and stop and feel guilty about stopping and then hopefully (but, usually, not ever) starting over again.
In my older years, I usually have made it an unwritten habit to sit down and write down thoughtful lists or words to sum up all that I’d like to get accomplished in a new year. But this year, I didn’t do that because in all the months leading up to the New Year, I had all these other big and small things that I was thinking about. Like my dad and why I need to wear nail polish. And how life is so short, whether to hide the four Barbie dolls I bought my daughters in months past, and why I haven’t written here much.
Then on New Years Eve, I took my kids to a party for the holiday and as the balloons dropped from the giant net, I started thinking. The promise of a new year only lies for those who live to see it pass. That’s a blessing not afforded to us all.
If all we really have is right now, then why not, wherever we are, decide to live fiercely in right now, and at our best? Why? Because it’s never easy. But what’s not easy about change? It’s only not easy when we try to make perfect changes and stick to them. But perfection isn’t possible. Imperfection is.
Every day we get a chance to imperfectly live: to change, to reinvent, to fall down, to get back up, to head down one path only to realize that we’d rather be on another. Every day, we’re given a chance to become someone else and then decide that we’d really just like to be ourselves. This is really all I want to do this year and every year of my life. I want to live, always, as if I know that living isn’t promised, I want to remember that change is always possible, that making mistakes and fixing them is required.
I hope that more days than not in my 2016 and every year after will be bright, filled with love, peace, creativity, and good things practiced over and over again. This is my prayer for myself and it’s my prayer for you. I hope you accomplish something you’ve never accomplished before, try something you thought you’d never tried, that you become more of yourself.
Cheers to the New Year! Cheers to today! Love, Jessica.❤︎