I have intentionally been silent here as I work on other projects. Though, not a part of my daily life, I do often think of this space and write and reflect on things to add here. Like this. I shared this on Facebook and forgot to share it here for any readers not found over there as well. “It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it.” Focus on the good and there will be more good. Focus on the bad and there’s more of that. No matter the season, there’s so much good to celebrate and be grateful for. May we all see and keep our eyes set on that. Love, Jessica. ❤︎
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” Eric Roth.
Life reminder: It’s never too late to live your dreams. There’s always enough time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do…the things you were meant to do. Strength doesn’t always come before big leaps. Often it’s what’s picked up in bits and pieces along the way, sometimes it’s found after it’s all done. When you can look back on where you’ve come and conclude that only someone with enough strength could have done what you’ve done.
I hope you have the strength to pursue your passions, the courage to believe in their worth, and the confidence to not listen to anyone who may believe otherwise. Happy Wednesday! Love, Jessica. ❤︎
You are not beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough, old enough, young enough, brave enough to be more than what we currently are. We are not ready. Our thoughts, these thoughts, which are really lies, become our truths. So as long as we are a person of lack so we become. And in our lacking states, we decide it’s better to just stay put. “It’s safer here, after all.” “It’s known here.” “I can’t make a fool of myself right here. ”
But at what cost? At what cost is this lie that we tell ourselves to stop our minds from allowing us to believe that we can live lives bigger than the ones we currently lead.
We are afraid that some one will figure us out, see our flaws, and call us out for attempting to be something we are not. We imagine ourselves small and such is how we live. But, oh, if only we could see our power. If only we could dare to live in that power and not flinch.
If only instead of asking “Why me?” we asked “Why not me?” Lives change with this proclamation.
Our lives change when we dare to say aloud, in a voice that hardly seems like our own, that we are not just powerful, but powerful beyond measure.
The above quote by Marianne Williamson is a wonderful reminder of this truth. It’s been inspiring me for a week, so I hope it does the same for you. Love, Jessica. ♥
Not every day is my best day in life. Some days, I go to sleep in a bad mood, often, inspired by something in my life, and wake up that way in the morning or worse.
I used to feel bad about having bad days. I used to beat myself up for my bad days because I believed that they were my fault, a sign of my inability to handle stresses in my life.
Back then, or when I felt bad about my bad days, rather than attempting to process why I was having a bad day, I immediately would judge myself as being weak. “Normal people don’t have bad days,” I would tell myself. “Happy people don’t have bad days.”
But these statements I’ve been telling myself for years are not true.
Bad days happen to everyone.
Now that I’m older and wiser, I am more able to embrace my bad days as a part of my normal life. I take them in stride, accepting them as temporary and good opportunities for me to grow, reflect, and decide to do things differently.
I think doing this is now easier for me because I have learned the power of positive self talk when times are tough. I don’t run away from my feelings on bad days. I’ve learned that trying to ignore my feelings or numb them only makes things worse. So now I give myself permission to feel them. I feel them and write about them in a journal and keep in mind these 25 important things:
1. A bad day doesn’t mean you have a bad life.
2. You are worthy of self-love and compassion.
3. It’s okay to make mistakes, to be uncertain, to not know.
4. Your character is make rich and deep by your hardships.
5.You have a good life, full of blessings that are worthy of your celebration.
6. You are okay.
7. You will be okay.
8. And in the end, it will all be okay.
9. A rain cloud can’t overshadow your beauty.
10. Today was a bad day. Tomorrow will be different.
11. It’s okay to smile in hard times.
12. You can be thankful for today even though it feels hard. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised.
13. Your happiness does not rest in your circumstances. It’s carried in your hands.
14. You can trust in life’s process.
15. Good things are always on the horizon for those with the vision to see them.
16. Your life is a divine miracle worthy of celebration.
17. You may be hurt. But you are not broken.
18. The story of your life continues to be written with each breath.
19. The world needs your light to shine.
20. You are bigger than your problems.
21. Nothing is as impossible as it seems.
22.You are here on earth for a reason.
23.You are someone’s sunshine.
24. You are strong.
25. You have much to be grateful for.
What are some things you tell yourself on bad days to keep things in perspective?
Choosing happiness over being right is hard, especially when you know that you are right! But… sometimes being right and focusing on just how right we are blinds us to what exists beyond that. Sometimes, we lose sight of how our preoccupation with our right side makes us under-occupied with the subjectivity of all truths, that everything we know is a product of what we choose to believe of it. So, choose happiness, your happiness, in your relationships, in your life and see where that gets you. — Jessica
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had about 30 different identities, called “alter-egos,” operating in my life at any given moment.
For as long as I can remember, there’s been the wife me, the good mom me, the bad mom me, the maxi skirt wearing bohemian version of me, the writer me, the student me, the “I really can dance” me, the “I don’t like to dance me, the reality tv show watcher me, the professional me, the “i can wear a navy suit” me, the “I don’t take myself too serious” me, the “I’m very serious me, the gym rat me, the “I don’t care that I can’t fit my old jeans” me, the vegan me, the burger and fries me, the “I have curly hair me,” the “I have straight hair me,” the “I don’t show my hair at all” me.
There’s been the comedian me, the straight-faced me, the eccentric me, the conventional me, the American me, the cosmopolitan me, the minivan driving me, the suv driving me, the independent me, the dependent me, the Amel Larrieux listening me, the sexy me, the modest me, the “I’m so into Bjork” and Blondie on auto-repeat me, the hip hop me,the 80s pop me, the crunchy mom me, the judgmental mom me, the drive through chicken nuggets and fries mom me, the passionate me, the angry me, the innocent me, the kind me, the super sensitive me, the materialistic me, the minimalist me, the happy me, the sad me, the introspective me, the superficial me, the authentic me, the honest me, the political correct me, the blogger me, the actress me, the singer me, the “this is just me” me, the “who the heck am I?” me, the dominant me, the submissive me…and the list goes on and on.
These parts of myself, I long assumed, were fragmented. They weren’t really me, just a part of me at any given time in my life, right? Just phases of me leading to the “real” me. As such, these phases like Fall leaves, would only be relevant for a season and then they would, inevitably, die. And with their death, I’d become someone new.
Becoming someone new is, after all, the point of growing up, right?
Before this month, I would have said “yes.” But now, after only 15 days of my Courage 365 project, I say “no.” The point of growing is to learn how to incorporate them all as one big gushy, complex version of…you.
I used to think that courage was that thing that made people do super-human things like jump off buildings or swim with sharks. But, and if you look at my Tumblr, my courage looks nothing like that. Joining the gym, cleaning out your closet, saying I’m sorry…are these courageous acts? For me, yes. Courage is what happens when you decide to be the best version of…yourself.
Courage is what happens when you act from your heart rather than fear.
So rather than my project being about becoming someone else, I’m learning that it’s really about becoming courageous enough to be myself. Like really myself, all of myself, like the blogger, 80’s pop, spiritual junkie, cookie baking me.
So, yes, that’s what I’ve learned thus far. In case you’re interested in my daily acts, find me on Tumblr.
How do you define courage? How would you define yourself?
Oh, and I’ve got a post up on Vista Imaging Group about “shutterspeed.” If you’re interested in moving into Manual mode and taking even more creative control over your images, then come stop by for today’s post!
I stumbled upon “I’ll Be You and You Be Me” by Ruth Krauss at a library some months ago. I was looking for something, some books for my children on friendships and friends to better understand and give a voice to my three-year old’s quest for wonderful “friends” of her own! “Oh, mommy! Will they be my friend?” she often asks in anticipation of seeing new children in public.
While fully aware that friends do matter, even to small children, her intense need for friends who called themselves “her friend,” at first, concerned me. “Will she someday be dependent?” “Why can’t she just play by herself” I would ask. I did this because I can be neurotic about such things but also because deep down inside I was afraid of how she would handle the rejections that would likely ensue should she always begin interaction with requests for friendships. “What if they say “no”? I would cringe from the sidelines, hearing her requests in my adult ears as pleadings to be liked. Oblivious to my discomfort, however, she would continue and in her continuing to ask the very humble question “Will you be my friend?” through some responses of “no” and even more of “yes, I learned something about friendships.
We can all experience joy and pain alone, yes. But to become a friend is to allow yourself to step outside of yourself and experience the same joys and pain with another. And in doing that, those experiences feel differently. The pain is shared, and, thus, hurts less. The joys– of victories, jumping, playing–are multiplied!
You become in this sense, related, like kin, like sisters or brothers. To have a friend is to have someone who you love so much that you are able to see yourself in them. Friendship is then a celebrate of that melded reflection of you and them and both you and them. And while not everyone will be our friend, we should continue on, like my three-year old, in expectation that someone will.
“I’ll be You and You Be Me” is a tribute, a love to imagination and friendship and what happens when children imagine themselves as friends. The above illustrations are some of my favorites so I had to share. Happy Friday, friends.